It is the only way I can describe what went down in my house tonight. I am so shocked, saddened and embarrassed by it I won't put the details even here anonymously. The "nicest" of the hurtful things I heard this evening is how I could stand to lose some weight. Really? After having a c-section a year ago I wasn't aware of that. I thought I still had the body of an 18 year old. Not a 32 year-old nursing mother who had a c-section. The husband I know would never EVER say such a thing.
After that dust settled from that nightmare few hours - the switch was flipped again. Now he's crying, sorry, scared, lonely sad an angry.
Admittedly, I did not react well to the hurtful stuff. It was stuff no one should ever have to hear from their spouse. I'm embarrassed by it. If he wasn't depressed I'd leave his ass for saying it.
I did tell him that I could not continue to be the whipping post for his anger, sadness, etc. Maybe it wasn't the appropriate response, but if I have to keep listening to that - I won't make it.
On the plus side (?) he has agreed to let me go to his doctor appointment with him next week. He's having difficulty retaining information, remembering things, etc.
It's been an emotionally draining night to say the least.
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I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I will be a faithful follower of this blog. My dh has some depression issues however he won't admit it or seek help. Hurtful things are said many times in our house-he is very hateful when angry. When he is happy everything else and everyone else in our house is happy, if not it is down right miserable. And his mood is so unpredictable at times. The hardest part is I can't fix it for him-he tells me sometimes he cries when he is alone, he used to do this every.single.day. But I never see it and he rarely admits it.
ReplyDeleteHaving this outlet is good and I hope it helps you. It is so good he is getting help.
I am so so sorry you are dealing with this.
ReplyDeleteYou are right now, even though it is an illness and he needs to seek help, you can't continue to be his whipping post.
I hope with the help of professionals you can get back to being a team, a happy team.
((hugs))
I'm so sorry Brooke. :-( Depression is a hard, hard thing to deal with, not only for the person suffering from it but also for those around them. If you are ever in need of some time to vent or just get it out there, I'd love to meet up for coffee or something sometime. You know how to get a hold of me. :-)
ReplyDeleteBrooke, I'm so so sorry. :(
ReplyDelete