One step up and two steps back..

I was really torn on what to title this entry. I thought about "Stabilization," but I'm not sure that's appropriate.

My husband had his appointment with the doctor this past week. She basically told him that she can either a) give him meds or b) he could do talk therapy, which is what she recommended. He's going to think about it. He says he's not afraid to talk to someone. He's also currently weaning off his Effexxor. Today is the first day with no meds of any kind. It was kind of a rough day. He stayed to himself, so I basically did it all today.

I also cancelled my therapist appointment. 1) I don't feel angry anymore. I'm angry that he's depressed, but I'm not angry at him. There is a division there. 2) He might be losing hours at work, and if anyone needs treatment, it's him.

I'm just so tired of the depression. He has really good days, and it's like things were before and I relax and enjoy his company, but then it can change a few days later. I know he's trying hard. I know that. But I just don't' know that he knows how frustrating this is. But, we're plugging along. I told him tonight I cannot do the venom again. I can't do it. He said that wasn't him (which I knew, but didn't make it any easier to hear/deal with).

I apologize for the disjointedness of this entry. 1) I'm tired and 2) I'm blogging and listening to the ipod. A dangerous combo.