Lonely

That's how I feel. Lonely and married to a stranger. Maybe not a stranger, maybe some guy I used to know. I don't know. I'm sad. Sad about where my marriage is right now. There is no us. There's him and our son, and me and our son, and us with our son, but there's no us. I keep thinking, hoping that one day I'll come home and it'll be the guy I married and he'll stay. Right now sometimes the guy I married is around. The other times its our son's dad feeding him dinner. I feel alone and sad. I don't want to be dragged into the pit of despair and depression. I can't go there. I just want him to snap the fuck out of it already. I thought he was doing well. Doing better since he weaned off his medicine. Turns out he's just been holding shit in. And everyday I feel a little more lonely, a little more sad and I'm running out of ways to hide it and fix it. I love him like I did the day I married him. I'm just not sure who I'm married to anymore. I miss him.